~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -baibai 2004-

halo..

feelin abit upset now..
dono lah.. sigh.. sumtimes i reeli wished to be brainwashed..
sumhow im oways reminded of wad i don wana be reminded of...
saddening.

hmm.. listening to shin's songs..
haha.. i lyk ah shin's vocal.. veh power!!! [SI LE DOU YAO AI~]
mayb will buy their jing xuan ji.

i finished one book summary report le..
nt bad. x)
haha.. still gottt 4 more days..
yepp.. cos firz day of sch nt gona hav lessons.. yaYY.

todae went bugis wif linz chengz vianz n nana.. buden nana left halfway.. i shld use the word "vanished".. cos she nv say bye!!..
den... i saw one nice crossback at puremilk... hands itchy le.
haha.. dey will place dose shirts u bought into a box de!!.. hahaha. so cute.. cos the box iz lyk the milk packaging lidat.. xP hehee... u can choose either the box or another shopping bag. so cool..
haha.. linz bought new sch bag.. everybody lyk hav new sch bag leh. *hMm
nvm.. my blackie bag veh nice le... haha.. dey pei mi go heerens bought a badge.. veh cute one. haha.. mus stand behind me so tat u can read.

afta tml it'll be a brand new year.
im nt reeli lookin forward lah.
tis yr shall be my best year everrr...
best school year. everythin seemed so perfect.

boooooo.....


tml gona be a busy day.
veh busy.
real busy.

soo..
im off.
tata~

*Everytime I hear your name.. everytime i feel the same.. it's like it all falls into place.. everything feels right....

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -outsider-

wo he ni de yi qie dou shi meng..
dan wei he wo hui xin dong...

todae did a bit of project..
got sense of acheivement.. =))
we finally succeeded in doin project..
afta failing so mani times.. hehe..

im reeli bored..
i can do nth..

ytd mayday were the guests for shi zi lu kou..
haha.. ah xing's still as cute as ever.
hmm.. todae suppose to go kbox..
haha.. buden when ah ma called mi i was still half aslp..
so i lazy go lor..

a few more days till sch re-open..
im abit scared.

nvm...

~*[yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -i wish i could give the world to u-

halo..
haha.. xmas is over!
but still...

we wish you a merry christmas,
we wish you a merry christmas,
we wish you a merry christmas,
and a happy new year.

haha.. im boredd..
mi com had gone crazy....
it'll restart on its own!! ='(
will be veh lag oso...
i suspect the virus came frm kor..
hahaha. =x

ytd woke up EARLY in the morning..
for dono-hu's christmas service..
onli slept five hrs..
overall iz quite ok.. but.. i tink i'd prefer to stay in bed.
haha.. =P
afta tat went linz hse.. wif tingz n lingz.. haha..
ya loh..
plaed mahjong all dat....
haha.. i lazy update lah...
go see linz blog for more info.

yah.. i beta post.. before mi com go bonkers.

hope u enjoyed yr christmas. =))

~*[yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -squishy-

haloz..

=((
im rotting..
actually suppose to go out de.. buden once i got up den my stomach aching... cos of squish.
until now.. iz still a bit pain.. cant be helped.
so i missed the outing wif hui min dey all le..
and liaz de church performance? or dono wad..
haish.
tis wk veh packed.

hmm... can hear my blog song? haha..
actually i wanted to put mayday de.. buden the file too big.. cant upload. =(
den afta i visited the iwebmusic page..
my com's very laggy.... super laggy.. =S
and everything's lyk messed up. shyt. if anythin happens to tis com agn.
means it'll hafta be reformatted.. which means.. my 100+ songs will be gone agn.
okokae. nvm..

on monday we did project.
correction.
we were suppose to do project for real!!
haha.. *ahem
in the end...
haha...
erm..
lidat lor.

nvm.. still got... one more wk?
ard there.
haha.. jus now i started on my yue du bao gao..
okae..
i jus wrote the title onli..
i wanted to sign out as soon as i asked manda wad to write for yue du bao gao de..
i wanted to..
buden now..
i chatting wif linz, ying en..
den playin wheel of fortune ...
haha..
actually i cannot see the storybooks and gao zhi lah..

tata!! =P
merry christmas everyone~

qi.. sheng qi.. dui zi ji sheng qi..

i made it happen.. yet i made it end..

but i jus noe u'll be better off without me..


i don deserve anything at all.

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~

s c r e w e d

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -arcade`addicted-

heyyoo...!!

haha.. ytd had craving for arcade..
hmm.. plaed e hse of e dead wif tingz..
waited for tat machine for a million yrs..
e two gers inside had three packs of tokens...
errrh. haha.. dey almoz kill the last king. almoz.
pek chek arh.. afta dey left got one boiboi chiong in firz... den another came to join..
wait until rot.
ee.. den we died in the beginning of chap 2..
haha. playin the game can help exercise my fingers.. =DD
den nth to do le..

mi tingz ah ma n tianz went cs meet liaz kor and nana..
hahaa.. afta dey ate den we went "library"!! yeah.. we are guai kias. =))
hehe. ermm.. mi n liaz read the book of "daytona"..
whee.. long time nv touch books on "cars" le..
oh yah.. haha.. amanda!~ if u're readin tis.. haha.. we mus compete sumtime okae~
hehe.. den we oso read "time crisis 2"....
yay. i passed stage one. i tink i firz time playin..
haha.. buden i oways see nana n tingz play.. so i noe a bit oredy lah.
dey veh bad.. kept luffing at me..
haha.. den i almoz ran out of time for lyk two times.. hahaha..
my accuracy is 100% kae.
... =x

i hate reloading.
hmm.. mondae gona do project.. tis time for real le! =))

haha.. feel lyk learning drums.. dono lah. jus a thought.
tink my dad will kill me.
hehe.. jus finished reading a veh thick book. feel so proud of myself.. long time nv read finish one eng book le.
the shopaholic series are nice.
btw.. i fixed finish my puzzle le.. hehe. got cheat a bit lah.
hmm.. two pieces missing.. buden i made em myself. cos dey are all white colour one. haha.. x)
den my sis jus glued em together.. tink tml can put it into the frame le.
yayy... (^^)v

go liaox... =P

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -hope u've not lost yr trust in me-

almoz lost my wallet today.... agn.. for the third time. when am i gona be more responsible for my own things?? sighz.. i lost two wallets in a month le.. lost my keys.. lost hp but thank goodness an honest guy returned... i dropped my wallet on 69.. tat time mi hp oso.. but i don understand leh. i tot i put it in my bag oredy.. tink it slipped.. jus lyk my hp..
im a stupid ass.
why am i oways so careless?
...
and summore... i nv realised... afta i watched finish the national treasure den i found out.... tot i dropped it in cinema.. buden hj dey all helped me check.. but nth.. so liaz suggest mayb i dropped in the bus.. tianz hav the xperience mah.. haha.. so i ask her whr to claim it.. den we went..
actually i don tink i'll be tat lucky agn..
kaoz. i jus topped up my ezlink.. and i actually wanted to return my mum her money.. but she say go home den return.. pek chek. and the doctor's letter plus all my neos..

...
u noe.. afta i lost e two wallets in tat jinx month.. i nv bring wallet out anymore.. until tis hols i decided tat i shld bring.. cos can put in the bag.. =S
turn out i oso drop it... argh. put bells oso no use leh.
i jus.. don understand!!
my family members lyk lost trust in me.. my mum don even allow mi to be the last to leave the hse.. cos hafta lock the door all dose.. aye.. buden i can understand..

when the uncle took out my wallet.. i was lyk. wah.. im so... lucky.
grinning all the way.
i swear.. i'll nv use wallet le..

oh yah.. tat time i bought tis 1000 pieces jigsaw puzzle.. one piece is gone. tink i lost it sumwhr...


[[ don nid to avoid me. i noe... n i wont bother u anymore. ]]

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ =P

oops..
veh long nv update le.. haha.. btw.. im ok le.. my heart is mended.. sort of.. by.. all my great fwens!! =P yepp.. thanks..

hmm.. veh lazy update lah.. errh.. but i've been rotting alot lately?
cant xercise.. gainin weight. damn. and my stamina will drop lyk mad.
im scared le.. haiz. iz lyk.... next time i wont dare to sprint anymore? jog i oso veh scared le.

okok.

today went chinatown.. haha.. aye.. thot i was gona be late.. but hu noes??
i jus realised.. lyk wad jen said.. 2g-ers hav the same habit.. and tats bein late.
haha.. bought one.. erm.. formal shirt for my pa.. cos today he bdae.. den i oso realised another thing. im seriously broke. ='(
afta everythinnnn.. we went kster!
kster mite as well close down man! dey don even hav mayday's new songs!! =(
and hor.. dey tricked us into signin up for sum stupid thing. say wad got student promo.. one person 5 dollar. in de end everythin adds up to 9 sumthing.. afta includin service charge all dat.
kaoz.. i hate kster.. toopid liars.
den afta tat was a veh nice dinner wif my family plus my uncle..

hahaa.. zai veh cold todae. bRr.
tml tink watchin national treasure... buden im broke.
nvm.. shall dig out all my coins.

tata!!

untitled-simpleplan

tis song rocks totali.
describes my feelings.

***

I open my eyes
I try to see but Im blinded by the white light

I cant remember how
I cant remember why
Im lying here tonight

And I cant stand the pain
And I cant make it go away
No I cant stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on
As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybodys screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
Im slipping off the edge
Im hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I cant explain what happened
And I cant erase the things that Ive done
No I cant

haiz. im jus pissed off now..

my father is blabbering bout dose stupid lessons now..
i hate them.. i don wana attend dose lessons.
as if things are gona turn beta?

he jus dono wads reeli happening now.
all he does is jus nag and nag whole day long.
he says i NV tok things clear to him.. but i DID.
i did.
i wana scream right into his face.
damn.
i hate it.
he's plain stubborn.
i jus kept quiet while he's.. "preaching".
ya.

dono wads goin on lately.
he kip on lidat.
and of all times.. why mus he choose now?
thx... as if im nt bad enuff oredy.

i love my mum.

useless

i hate it..
i feel so useless..
iz lyk.. it doesnt happen to anyone but to me..
am i wrong for trying hard..
jus when i thot i was bout to change things the way dey were..

everything goes wrong..
at the same time..
haiz.

why..?


am i wrong tis time..

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~

stared at tis page for dono how long..
hmm..

ytd went see doctor..
errhh..
haiz.
mus stop pe for 3 mths.. starting frm now lah..
cant run.. cant jog.. cant jump.. cant anything.
mus eat the toopid panadol and rest for 3 to 6 mths..
so tat it can heal..

now i hafta eat 5 panadols and drink cough medicine.. cos im sick too..
summore two of em will make mi drowsy..
rot at home today..
eat and sleep..
feel quite tired now..
iz the medicine gao de gui..

burden.. tink im the burden now.

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -sick-

suddenly hav the urge to cum here..

haish.. i sick liaoz.. veri irritating!!~ =(
hav wedding dinner on dec 12.. haha.. mayb goin my uncle's hse in jb to stay for a few days.. nt sure yet.. haha.. den mayb can earn sum money too.. =P dono lah.. see firz lo..
yayee.. can see my fav cuzzie.. *grins

lata goin out.. quite bu fang bian.. but i oredy rot at home ytd liao.. hmm..
still haven watch incredibles.. =Ss the timings are oways wrong.. haha..

erh.. wen i cum bac den update more lah.. tata.

[7.25pm]
halo.. i bac! haha.. jus now went tm wif chengz vianz n nana..
waited soOo long for burden. haha..
hmm.. we jus walk walk ard lah.. see nana play time crisis..
errh.. den thr's tis two guys n a gal.. playin time crisis..
dey kept on addin credits one... added lyk 4, 5 or even 6 times den dey reached the third stage..
haha.. den got alot of ppl crowd ard thr see.. thot dey xpert or wad. -__-ll..
actually i wana go cai chuan dey all one. haha..
hmm.. den met jen.. went mac eat...
afta tat chengz n nana left le.. ah ma and me decided to take neoprint..
haha.. veri nice. =P buden don hav enuff time decorate..
afta tat we went library.. lol.. act guai lah. haha... borrowed one eng book.
hehe.. dono whether will giv up halfway.. as usual.

mayb tml goin out wif lil bleah.. mus take neos too! x)
haha.. lingz suddenly came online.. she used the com in taiwan.. hahaa..
dey lost a match.. buden their age is ard 18.. so.. haha.. hmm.. den lingz injured her wrist le.. aye.. tat ger lyk forever injuring herself de.. den she disappeared.. haha.. cos the others wanted to use com too..
haha.. the day before tingz saw sek in cs.. yeah. when she's supposed to be in taiwan? lOl. xD
haha.. cos tat day mi tingz n vianz were at tm mah.. den met fu foong and ying en.. haha.. den we chatted... afta tat not enuff so we went mac chat.. buden fu foong was off by then..
haha.. afta everyone left i pei tingz go buy things den she pei mi buy things. we took neos too.. lol. i used tat machine for thrice le.. firz wif liaz.. second wif tingz.. third wif vianz..
forth mayb wif ber le.. haha.
lata shld be goin to the doctor's.. aye. same prob.
cant even chase a bus now... mayb i'll soon forget the feeling of running.

thanks.

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -aye..-

dono wads wrong wif me..
aHHhhhH!
i don feel lyk doin anything...
siann.
everybodi's gone!!!

ytd went to send the bballers off.. to taiwan..
met zai,gs,kt.. den tianz n sherilyn on the train.. haha..
turned out onli so few ppl.. reeli small gathering..
haha.. den we sat in swensens.. LOL.
sat for ard an hour.. den nv order anything..
hahaa.. we were prepared to wash bowls thr.. =P
den yingan alvin tingz came..
shared chocolate crunch wif tingz.. haha.. yummie..
gs ordered one earthquake. actually was supposed to share wif him..
but look at his appetite.
haha.. added salt and pepper into the ice water..
christmas special =)

afta tat went ah ma hse play mahjong..
we played for veri long..
but i onli won once.. =(
aye.. ah ma bro veri irritating.. arGh.
hmm.. at nite thr's tis show.. haha.. got wu yan zu de!! wah.. he so shuai.. xD

love at firz sight by blue ish nice.. =)
ohya.. haven update bout genting trip.. haha.. =S lazy...
aye.. basically was eat n play lah.. haha.. played ard 40 rounds of foto hunt.. =Xx.. den indoor rollar coaster sat ard 10 times.. outdoor.. played spinner n flying dragon.. sobs.. nv had the chance to play my favourite.. rolling thunder mine train.. but nvm.. next time surely mus play 20 times.
the scenery was fantastic lah.. all the trees hiding behind the clouds..
yepp.. oso went shopping.. ahh.. and went inside the snow world. -.-ll not fun de.. cos the big slide is closed. argh. reeli suey!! -3 degrees inside.. haha.. my toes freezed.
haha.. yah.. actually was supposed to cum bac on the 3rd.. buden we all hav the urge to stay for one more nite.. lol.. but all the genting hotels full le.. so we stayed at the awana country club.. haha.. the room was veri bigg. turn out tat we ALL cant slp at nite.. haha.. but mayb except for my mamee.. cos the room seemed veri scary.. thr are mirrors everywhr.. and.. iz jus veri weird lah. haha.. den mi n mi sis sung songs and counted sheeps to make us fall asleep.. lol. but to no avail. hahaha.. den she sung the spider song.. dono wad title lah. haha.. the children song lai de. she sung "up came the rain and wash the spider off.." instead of "down came the rain and wash the spider off.." rofl. i laugh until im wide awake..~ actually i was getting tired de lor. den afta tis i wasnt tired le.. -___-
toot ryt..
haha.. den we entertained ourselves lah..
until the next day.. we xplored awana.. haha.. saw tis boiboi play golf.. so cute.. he veri small.. but he learnt golf for quite a few mths le.. hmm.. seems fun.
yepp.. den we headed home. thr was a heavy traffic jam.. so we reached home ard 9 plus at nite..
haha.. next yr go thr agn.. =D

kkae.. finally updated finish le..

*i guess i shldnt lie to myself anymore.. i noe i cant lose u..*

haiz. i don wan christmas to cum! cos it means school's gona re-open soon... no...

i don wan it tis way.. nv tot it would turn out tis way...

seems lyk tis is getting nowhere... why am i hoping for so much when nothing's improving...?
shld start all over again.. ALL over again.. or mayb.. end jus like that.

i feel stupid..

so wad if the feeling's there.. so wad if it doesnt change...
iz jus not right at all...

iz not meant to be.
i feel veri frustrated.. but i jus cant bare to tell u.. tat all tis may not work out afterall...

mayb she's better.. mayb..

~*[.yInGz`dIaRy.]*~ -sad sad sad..-

why is everybodi leaving at the same time..?